Some songs going through my head....

"We cry out, we need your help.
Come back to our land.
We confess, we've lived in sin.
Please show your power once again."

"When I don't know what to do...
...I'll lift my hands.
When I don't know what to speak...
...I'll speak your praise.
When I don't know where go....
...I'll run to your throne.
When I don't know what to think...
...I'll stand on your truth.
When I don't know what to do."

"And I'll praise you in this storm,
I will lift my hands.
For you are who you are,
no matter where I am.
And every tear I'm crying,
you hold in your hands.
Even though my heart is torn,
I will praise you in this storm."

Sunday!

Whoa, what an awesome experience He gave me!!!
After our late night playing broom hockey on Sat. I got to church not exactly as early as I like to be there... more right on time, yet I had a wonderful time with God before. So I waltzed in with Jillian and Daniel comes bounding out and point to Jillian, Myself, and Paige and asks us to pray during a part in the worship. I went first, praying on thankfulness to God, but in being first, I was a bit nervous because I knew I would be setting the stage. The ultimate goal would be to have everyone praying at the same time, even though we were all doubting that would happen with our group. I got in front of the mike, (the one that makes you louder, not Morales) and God stepped in. Sometimes in the past, prayers in front of the group have been awkward, but not this time. I was able to in front of everybody release all my thankfulness to God. It was an experience like no other, I could have gone on a much longer duration but cut myself off in order to let others speak. Wow... God is Crazy--Crazy Good!!! I love how He chooses to use us when we are tired, sore, hurting.... He doesn't let our excuses stop us from glorifying Him.
To God be the Glory and Honor, forever and ever..... Amen.

Its time to be quiet.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, especially as I have had the ability to see my current situation in a different light.

Today as I was praying the story of Elijah came to mind.

He stood in a cave as the Lord was going to pass by. A wind came, an earthquake and a fire, but God was not in any of those. When a gentle breeze was felt, he then knew he was in the presents of the Lord.

Where is this gentle breeze? I became so distracted in the loud music, the prophesies, and everything else.... but God is the gentle breeze.

This is the man who fully deserved to come strutting into the city with chariots, gold and every other fine thing, yet he chose a donkey.

What are we doing? Are we just distracting ourselves from god? Shame on me for not waiting for the breeze.

Who are we to command God? He's the Sovereign one, we're just his dominion.

Thank you for letting me make mistakes, so that I may learn more about you.

My God, my God. Where are you?

The music is playing, I hear you... but is that you I am listening to?

You called me, but was that you... or only a suggestion from someone else?

You opened my eyes, but can I see or am I still blind?

You've rescued me from the deepest hole, yet the sky looks even further away.

Your spirit has been called to in prayer, but is that you, or only our desire for it to be you?

I don't want to be led by a pied piper. I want to seek you. Open up my eyes in this state of confusion. Only you know the truth. Are things both good and bad only happening in my life to distract me?

Where are you in the worship? In the prayers? Is that your voice I hear oh Lord?

Don't leave me. I feel we've become so close. You are my savior, redeemer, strength, fortress, hope, everlasting love, and everything else too. But is that you? Have I learned to put my trust in you or only what I'm being told is you. Oh God, my God rescue me from this confusion. From the tears and the pain of the unknown. I ask you to humble me, so I may seek you with humility instead of arrogance.

Come Lord Jesus, Come.

Whomever you are, You are what I am seeking, don't let me be lead astray from you.

"Roller Coaster...

(You thought I was going to say) ... of love" But no, it seems this roller coaster is "of life!"

It is crazy some ups and downs can cause major affects. These past couple days have been just crazy! I've had some of the greatest times, but also the hardest. I was explaining to a friend on Wednesday that I've had so much prayer lately, and really putting in everything I can to Christ, yet I still have this odd feeling. Its almost like a really bad after taste... I don't know! So I told him that it feels like I'm really under spiritual warfare. Its kind of the same feeling missions trips have been known to produce.
Over and over again we see demonstrations of people in the bible being constantly under attack, most of the time that only happens when they are doing something right though. So I'm not sure what all is going on... I'm just going to keep striving for Christ, cuz I know he knows.