Hello again

Well it seems like it has been ages since I've blogged on here.... I feel soo unfaithful. :( Guess I've just been writing in notebooks and that has felt easier, and more comfortable perhaps.

Anywho, this is just a quick catch up... yes, I am still alive! This summer, my Senior Summer turned into the best days of my life!! I have grown so close to so many people, but especially my Senior class! I love them all sooo dearly! We had sleepovers, tahoe trips, went to SF, made Pazookies, and just were all together! This summer has shown me what it's like to have a group of friends again. Thank you Lord for that!

But it has been a struggle over these past months. I started school in San Diego, PLNU, and my who world has dramatically changed. As I pulled away from my house, and everything I'd ever known I realized this was all really happening- I was leaving. Days filled with crying have turned into months. I've never felt so alone, even tho I am surrounded by so many people. Everything has been stripped away from me, my car, cell phone(horrible reception), my family, my friends, my familiarity, community, routines, church, and everything else that I have ever held dear. Hardest days of my life.... And on top of all that I've been struggling to keep my relationship strong with Christ. That's been the worst, as it is a personal failure.
Over these past months my folks and I have been looking at options and praying about what we should do with my future, as we've discovered on so many levels that this isn't the right place for me. It hasn't been all bad, I don't want you to think that, but it sure has been more of a struggle than any of us had ever imagined. Tho I've really grown closer to my parents and friends thru this. And I've grown in myself here and made some memories as well. It's been such a breaking time, to the extent where I have nothing of myself anymore.... I'm ready for Him to rebuild me!
Back to future plans. We decided the best thing would be for me to come home after the Semester (45 more days and only 24 more nights of sleeping in my dorm room) and finish my GE at West Valley. After that I'm looking to finish my Comm major at Sonoma, Monterey or San Jose State. I feel so at peace with this decision, the first bit of peace I've felt for so long.
I haven't told many people of this yet, some of my close friends, but not those who I know will oppose the plan. But this is for me, making a stand. It's what I need to do. I'm just praying for courage to be able to accept whatever people say to me as they find out about this. I know it will be hard, Lord, I ask that you give me the strength to endure all the comments and jokes which will be made as a result of coming home. Let them say what they will, for I've never been more excited about moving back into the nest! It's amazing how some things can change, though it's not something you can see until you really step back and look at what was, and what now is. Thank you Lord for change!
Haha. You know me! Just can't say a few words, I have to write an entire paper! But that's who I am! Have a wonderful day, and be encouraged.

Homeschooling!?!

Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows that I haven't stayed still at one school very long. I've been to all sorts of private schools, both big and very small - I am currently at secular JC and I've even involved with a homeschooling school group. I've had a lot of different school experiences to say the least.
As I have been looking at all my different schools, and what each of them produce, I have had a hard time being impressed. I really have been having a hard time trying to decide how I want to raise my kids, finding the institution that does the least amount of harm to them.
This past weekend I went on a Senior trip to Disneyland with my homeschoolie group. We had a splendid time, but I was impressed with all the manors and uniqueness each person seemed to have. It was only an observation I had made until we went to one of the guys houses a couple days later. I was totally shocked as I discovered what kind of family I want to marry into and raise. I loved how the family was very tuned into one another, and all of us. Also, how when things needed to be done they were just done, automaticly. I went home thinking how amazing this family was and how I want a family to be just like that.
I think, I'm going to homeschool my kids. Since I don't have as much experience with the homeschooling process, I am going to have to marry someone who was raised like that. But thats not too big of a sacrifice, for these men are turning into exactly what I've been looking for.

He heard me!!

Well, this week started off in sorrow, as a dear friend lost his 16 year old daughter. My family and I went to be with them before they headed off to Riverside to be with family. I agreed to stay and watch the house and kitties, not knowing how God was working through this.
I had been pleading to get out of my house, to live on my own, to have some well needed peace--a retreat from the ordinary life. It took me a day to realize that everything I had been praying for and desiring was this house, for I was on my own-I've had time to read and relax-there is no blaring tv- I'm the only one with a key, so I don't have to worry about other people being there. It's been simply amazing. I've felt like its just God reassuring me that He's in control and that He hears me when I cry out to Him.
I am astonished at the way He works, and how a bad situation can become a good one, and that He gives us what we need to continue on. I feel refreshed and spiritually ready to face my own life once again. I mean hey, its only four more months....

Communication Major

So many thoughts and only one brain to hold them all in..... yikes! Something I have really been thinking about lately is my communication major. It looks like there'll be some great classes and everyone I know has said it was a great major. But I guess my concern is for a little bit down the road, when I get married, will that still be a worthwhile choice. For some reason I am so called to be a part of ministry, there is something that just will not let me stay away, and in that reasoning, I could easily see myself "marrying into the ministry." Thats when I begin to question my major, am I going to be able to use this along with my hubbys ministry? I don't know. Should I be looking more into pursuing counseling or something that deals with hurting people? I don't know. I do know that God is going to use what ever I bring to the table, but I just desire to be as effective as I can, as my husband and I can be. So, we'll see what happens! (Stay tuned for more of whats in Laurel's head!) :)

A Short Overview

These past couple months have been everywhere from cloud nine to unbearable. I have finally told my parents that I am serious about wanting to move out, but as always, nothing is ever serious. There has really been one song to describe this entire time for me, and that is Praise You in this Storm. Only four more months and I am out of this house. Away from the pain and the uneasiness of never knowing what I am going to come home to. I hate that a good day for me consists of the most time spent out of the house, or being home alone. I'm just tired of this-all of this.
I am excited about these new ministries I am becoming involved with like working with the Burnette kids and possibly to Junior Highers as well. On Thursday night it was amazing as one of the kids prayed for the first time, he was so nervous.... It was amazing.
I don't know what Gods doing right now, but as the song says "when there's pain in the offering - blessed be your name." There is certainly pain.